Laur's Blog, Volume 4: Everything Belongs to Me, Nothing is Mine

The Stranger

I am the stranger I see crossing the street. I share the same atoms as the trees, as the bees. I am the breeze. There is a piece of me in everything I see. I am the universe experiencing itself again for the first time. I am the combustion of my surroundings. I am as free as the ocean. I am as big as the world. I am one with my environment, though I am not grounded in it. Everything belongs to me, though nothing that I see is mine. 

Everything, Everywhere

I feel a connection to the world, though I cannot find a signal. I don't know how to make ends meet. My eyes are open, but I cannot see. My heart is not broken, but it just cannot beat. A piece of me is dead, but I am ever living. I am the universe. My soul is infinite.

Things are easier said than done. I tell myself that I can sing as beautifully as the birds when I try. I believe I am as delicate as a flower, as light as a feather. I can acknowledge that I am part of the divine, that the divine resides within me, though I struggle to accept it. It just won't click. 

I wonder if piousness is a performance. I wonder if I will ever grasp the vastness of this plane. I wonder how I can find peace in the unknown.

I wish I knew the laws of the universe. I wish the stars made sense. I wish I understood math. I wish I were small, comprehensible... A concept, rather than the concept. I wish humanism weren’t so powerful. 

I like to think there is great beauty in the prominence of emotion, the power of the Earth’s vibrations passing through our kind. Many frame the ability to feel as our demise, though it is our reminder that we are alive. 

Gravity

My head is heavy. I hear people roaming around the city. I am present, but I am not at peace. I feel nothing and everything at the same time. 

The streetlight shines through my window, though the blinds are shut. I am the stranger I see walking across the street. I know nothing of myself.